It’s early in the morning. I am getting ready to leave before my shift, and the urge to check the schedule pops into my head. I pull up the scheduling software and notice that my normal boss is out. I have an overtime officer on duty, and my heart sinks. Not him. Just by the name on the schedule, I begin to dread the shift.
I know that it will likely lead to some sort of issue, and as the low person on the totem pole, it will all come down on me.
Toxic Leaders
Leadership competency and emotional EQ exist at many different levels across the country in first-responder organizations. Some of the smartest people I have ever met are leaders in this job. But for every phenomenal leader, I have met a few nasty ones. Have you ever felt like you were dreading coming to work just because of the toxic culture you knew you were walking into?
This can have a profound effect on mental health and retention. It is in everyone’s best interest to avoid these dynamics to ensure we have the most healthy, invested, and motivated staff. I believe that no one enters these first responder careers jaded. At some point, someone somewhere asked the candidate why they wanted to be here, and I want to believe that the answers they gave about believing in the mission were genuine.
It would be borderline negligence for an agency to hire someone with a toxic attitude. Still, we see these types of leaders in almost every facet of emergency response agencies in our leadership.
Victorian Monsters
In college, I was required to take an English class to fulfill my humanities requirements. I always knew I wanted to work in the fire service, so I primarily focused on classes that piqued my interest. I knew that the means to an end was a bachelor’s degree so that I could have some options once I got on the job. One class I selected was called “Victorian Monsters”. This consisted of reading stories like Dracula, Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll, and Mr. Hyde.
I have always been fascinated with the concept of literary works that mirror the everyday dynamics we experience. Throughout the duration of this class, I learned that these stories were just metaphors for experiences we have in life. For example, Frankenstein can be correlated to the complicated dynamic between parent and child as well as the moral obligations of scientific pursuit.
One of the works we studied that grabbed my attention was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson, who you might also know from his novel Treasure Island. What fascinated me about this title is the concept that Dr. Jekyll had such a great capacity for evil. No matter how brilliant Dr. Jekyll was during the day, Mr. Hyde would reign at night. After Dr. Jekyll creates a potion to allow Mr. Hyde to release his most amoral urges, the division between good and evil becomes blurred.
This concept of the same person having dramatically different personalities can be very unsettling. One of the reasons that this novel gives you the creepy crawlies is that it paints the same human as fundamentally two different people.
Unpredictability Leads to Mistrust
I know when I reported to work, one of the most important things to me was trust in my leadership. I always felt uneasy when I had a boss that I didn’t understand. There were times when I had a supervisor who was my best friend one day and my biggest critic the next. This caused a significant amount of anxiety each day I was assigned to work for them.
It wasn’t until later in my career that I started to understand that, in many instances, this was a result of unresolved trauma or burnout. Predictability is a key trait of every leader. The more you can be consistent with your staff, the easier they will be able to trust you.
The Hard Truth
I had an uncomfortable experience a few years ago when I realized I had become the very leader that I had such a hard time working for.
What do you do when you realize that you are Mr. Hyde?
These coworkers did not ask for or deserve that type of response from you. It can be a sobering thought to realize you have let your mental health lead to a deterioration in interpersonal relationships.
Have you ever returned from a long shift only to snap at your wife? Or your child? Are you seeing more Mr. Hyde in the mirror than Dr. Jekyll?
I am not going to lie to you. Seeing Mr. Hyde in the mirror sucks; it’s scary. The good news is that no matter where you are, what you are doing, or what is stuck on repeat in your head, there is a solution. I call it “the human frequency”. If you reach out to let someone know that things aren’t going well and you need help, they will respond.
In aviation, we are trained to memorize the 7700 transponder code so that we can contact help via Air Traffic Control if we are in an emergency. This code signals through radar that the aircraft and crew are in distress and in need of assistance. At that point, the focus is on vectoring the crew to safety.
The same is true for our interactions as coworkers, crew members and humans on this planet. I have never once experienced a situation where help was not available when I asked. Sometimes, squawking 7700 is the hardest part.
Once we make contact, the support is there.
Look Around, Take a Breath, Make a Call
I would challenge you to reflect on your personality as a leader. Are you a Dr. Jekyll, driven by science, logically moving through each interaction with your coworkers? Or are you a Mr. Hyde who is being affected by unresolved stress or trauma, which leads to you being unpredictable and isolated from your staff?
Some of the most incredible experiences I ever had were through vulnerability. Sometimes, all we can say is, “I don’t like where I am or who I am becoming.” You would be surprised how many people can empathize with that journey.
Get By with a Little Help From My Friends
If you look in the mirror and see Mr. Hyde, the first step is to come to terms with that and let the people around you who care know that you don’t want to be him. Reach out and get a vector back to Visual Flight Rules (VFR) or the nearest suitable approach.
Everyone wants to see you succeed; deep down, it’s programmed in our culture as humans.
Success helps everyone. The rest will fall into place. Dr. Jekyll will return.
This article was created by Mind the Frontline, in partnership with JEMS.
